Only One
by BrucasPurpleMonkey
Summary: They say our lives are mapped out from even before we are born... but why do I feel that I just don't belong in this life? I'm not happy... I haven't been for months... but nobody notices... they're always off trying to be... perfect. Haley Centric.


**Authors Note:** Hello wonderful readers =D I haven't posted/wrote anything for quite a while but I figured it was time to start again. I will most definitely be my working on my other stories but for now this one is my inspiration and the one that keeps me writing lol =D I did post something similar to this a few days ago but as I worked on further chapters I realized it really could have been better so I deleted it, rewrote it... so here it is all new and way better lol. I hope you all enjoy it reply and let me know what you think.

**Info: **This story will be Haley centric and will switch from Haley's POV to Narrator POV and Nathan's POV. Eventual Naley so it won't be a story full of Naley fluff right away, also includes Brucas, Jeyton, and several other pairings some of which include Nathan and Haley being with other people. Other Characters with eventually include Rachel, Clay, Chase, Lindsey, and Mia. Approx Rating Teen but may contain explicit content later on (will let you know before hand).

**Enjoy :D**

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**Only One**

**Chapter One - Where Do I Belong**

_-Haley's POV-_

I had never felt so out of place. It was like I was completely invisible, like I had died and was yet somehow walking through this world unseen by anybody. I felt like I was constantly screaming, like I was always yelling for someone to look at me, to hear me. I had contemplated suicide. Honestly and truly, I had. But for the time being I couldn't do it. No, not because I wanted to live or was holding on to my life here. There was nothing to hold on to. It was because of something I had heard in church as I child. "Sinners who do not ask for forgiveness are not forgiven.' Suicide was supposed to be the worst sin possible, it was giving up the gift we were given (life) and once we were dead we could not ask for forgiveness. That being said we were told that people who take their own lives automatically go to Hell. I did not know what I believed anymore. I used to have faith but right now, it's hard to believe in anything.

I did know one thing though. At this point I was not willing to trade this Hell I was living everyday for simply a new kind. So for now I lived. If you could even call what I'm doing living.

Sitting in my economics class taking notes, bored out of my mind. I'm your typical college freshman there is absolutely nothing unique or remotely interesting about me. I have some friends but I'm by no means popular, Brooke and Nathan are the popular ones. I get decent grades but I am by no means a genius thats Lucas. Peyton's gorgeous and the best artist I've ever met. Compared to them I'm a nobody, compared to anybody I'm a nobody. I'm a nobody and my name is Haley James.

They say our lives are mapped out from even before we are born... but why do I feel that I just don't belong in this life? Everyone is happy. Lucas is with Brooke. Peyton is with Jake. Nathan has with Rachel. But where do I belong? I'm not happy... I haven't been for months... but nobody notices... they're always off trying to be... perfect.

_-Narrator's POV-_

As Haley sat listening to her professor drone on she began doodling on my notebook. She could not wait till was out of here then maybe she could go back to her dorm and sleep, it seemed completely unfair that out of all her friends, she was the only one to end up with an 8am class. Text From Nathan her phone read when she pulled it from my pocket to examine why it was buzzing.

Nathan: rest of us were talkin and since all our parents have been ridin us bout it 4 weeks were thinkin bout goin home 4 the weekend u in?

Home. Tree Hill North Carolina thats where the five of them were born and raised. You could say they have nothing in common what would possibly drive such different people to be friends and home is the answer. They had been together since the first play group when we were just shy of a year old and none of us could imagine being separated, even now. The five could not be much more different there's cocky basketball driven Nathan, girly girl Brooke, artistic spunky Peyton, brilliant brooding Lucas, and boring nothing special Haley. As I said, they could not be more different, but they balance each other out, and it works for them... at least it always used to.

Haley: sure nuthin better to do. wen do we leave?

As she pressed the send button on her phone she layed it in her lap to avoid detection by the professor and leaned back in her chair. She didn't really want to have to deal with her 'psycho family' this weekend she thought but at least it would give her some one on one time with her big comfy bed she reasoned. 'Maybe I can sleep all weekend' she thought to myself. Thats all she ever felt like doing anymore. Life sucked.

Nathan: soon as classes r over today so bout 5 that wrk?

Haley: ya. its fine.

Nathan: if ur ridin wit me ill see ya at my car clos to 5

Haley: k ttyl

As she sat through the rest of her morning classes she really didn't pay attention. She'd been doing that a lot this past year... just zoning out. When she finally got back to her dorm that afternoon and started packing up some stuff for the weekend she figured it was time to decide who she was riding with (she did not have a car). Brooke and Lucas had been planning to head home for a few weeks so they were more than likely riding together. She loved them and everything but she really was not in a cheerful mood and Brooke is the peppiest person she knew. She really did not know who Peyton was riding with but eventually she concluded that even if i was riding with Nathan there would still be less talking than with the other two which was what she wanted right now, silence and solitude.

Haley was in the freshman parking lot at 4:45 waiting for them, none of them were extremely punctual. "Tutorgirl your coming too, yays" exclaimed her brunette friend Brooke as she walked up to the cars arm in arm with Peyton!

"Yep, I need a break" Haley said, half smiling at her enthusiasm.

"Did you hear about Jake's party its gonna be awesome" Brooke told her.

Haley felt like rolling her eyes. Of course there was some social reason Brooke was going home this weekend. Jake Jagelski was a senior who Peyton sort of had a thing with. "Excited to see Jake P Sawyer" Haley asked in a semi teasing tone. She really was not in a good mood but she did not want them to worry or whatever and not give me any alone time this weekend... so for the time being she put on a pretend smile.

"Yeah it seems like its been forever" Peyton said laughing.

"I can tell you've been overly broody the past few weeks. Once you get some of Jakey's hot little high school body you should be all better" Brooke chirped. "I know when its been a while for me and Luke I get sooo blah" she said smiling.

Haley laughed and shook her head, of course Brooke would think the only good reason for extreme broodiness was lack of sex. "Good thing you two never go more than a few hours huh" she told her teasingly.

"Hey I must be the luckiest dude on campus to have three hot ladies like yourselves waiting by my car" Nathan said smirking as he walked up and joined the conversation.

"In your dreams Scott we're only here for the car" Peyton told him smacking him on the chest and throwing her bag in the trunk Nathan had just opened.

"Awe that hurts" Nathan said feigning sadness and clutching his hands to his chest. Soon after Lucas showed up and we headed for home. As she had predicted Lucas and Brooke rode together and then so did Nathan, Peyton, and Haley. After two hours of a little talking but mainly listening to music they got to Tree Hill.

"I know Peyt and Brooke are going to Jakes party and Luke goes everywhere Brooke does but what are you gonna do Hales" Nathan asked Haley as they pulled out of Peyton's driveway after dropping her off?

"No plans, I know I'm not going to the party though if that's what you were thinking. I think I'm just going to sleep all weekend" she told him.

"Nice. I could use some sleep. I was thinking about going to the party but I don't know yet. If Rachel goes to the party then I probably will too" Nathan responded.

Rachel ugh. She aggravated me to know end. Rachel Gatina was a senior at Tree Hill High that Nathan had been dating since last year. In some ways she was just like Brooke... cheer captain, most popular girl in school, social butterfly, and model gorgeous. There was things that were different though. She was the neediest girlfriend and when Nate would hang out with us she just expected to come to. She was the hugest slut and snob in the entire school and had been since she was a freshman. Oh and then there was the fact that she was a complete bitch. Yeah to put it gently we did not get along.

It was quite for a few seconds before he asked what she knew was coming "Are you sure you wanna be in that house all weekend, are you gonna be okay?"

"Ya I'll be fine its been over a year Nathan its not a big deal anymore" Haley said not looking at him. Haley did not want Nathan to see her face as she outright lied to him.

"I get that but she's there... and they're still redoing Tommy's room for the baby and everything... I just wanted to make sure your gonna be okay" Nathan told me referring to Haley's step mother, younger brother and soon to be half sister.

She didn't say anything, for one because she could not think of anything to say, and two because he was right. Looking out the window as tears rolled down her cheeks, memories that she tried everyday not to think about flooded over her, drowning her in the pain. Memories including the day her mother's personality changed completely because she had started using Meth. Memories including the day her left her father, her little brother, and herself to move in with her drug dealer boyfriend whom she'd been cheating with. The memory of the day only weeks later that her Dad's new, incredibly young, and just plain mean girlfriend moved in. Or the days that they told us she was pregnant and they were getting married. And then the cherry to top of the worst year ever... the day her 15 year old little brother was killed because he was so upset he got drunk and crashed a car. Haley breathed in deeply suppressing anymore tears before she subtly cleared my face and looked forward.

"If you need anything just come over or call me Hales" Nathan told her pulling up in front of her Dad's house.

She nodded silently and gave him a quick hug before getting her bag and walking the what felt like extremely long walk to the door. She knew that Nathan meant well, she also believed that he had to say that. She knew that his social standing was everything to him... and what would the world think if Nate Scott got dumped for being a lousy boyfriend. His social life was his world and while he would care... if Haley called him and he was with someone he would probably feel bad but he would make up an excuse and blow her off. He was to busy being perfect... just like the rest of them. "And here I am left alone" she whispered aloud to herslef.

She unlocked the door and went inside. Nobody was home but she knew the house's inhabitants had probably just went for dinner or something. She went to her room and changed and without even bothering to turn on the light in the near dark room lay face down on the bed. She let go. Letting the tears that she had been holding in for weeks go. No matter how sad she got at school she couldn't let cry. She had no alone time and didn't want people to feel sorry for her what she felt was pathetic self. The past year had been horrible. She had never before been so crowded yet at the same time felt so miserably alone.

People may say 'well you have friends go hang out with them.' But those people didn't understand. Lucas and Brooke were so in love that even with other people they completely zone out the rest of the world. Brooke had her modeling and her sorority. Lucas was always in class or with Brooke. Then there was Peyton, she was either talking to/with Jake or busy with her art and her work with a local night club called Tric. And lastly there was Nathan. He was the life of the party and always had been, Nathan had his girlfriend and social standing to maintain. To everyone else in the world she felt invisible and to be quite honest she didn't always feel wanted or needed by them either. 'They all have their own lives to worry about, their own little perfect existence's that they have to try and keep that way. I have nobody' she thought to herself. She eventually fell asleep crying silently in her dark room.

She woke up at around 11 and went downstairs to see a note on the counter from her father saying that they did not want to wake her but him and Kimber, his wife, were going for pancakes. Not having anything else to do, she sat in a chair at the table reading until she heard a tap at the sliding glass door. Haley looked over to see Nathan and gave a short wave acknowledging him and signaling it was to come in.

"So Haley James just rolled out of bed I see" Nathan stated smiling as he leaned against the table beside where Haley was sitting.

"Told ya I planned on sleeping" she said laying her book open on the table as not to loose her place. "Did you have a good time with some high schoolers last night" she asked teasingly?

"Actually no. I did go to the party, but I left kind of early to hang out at Tim's. His parents were gone for the weekend and actually there was more alcohol there then at the party, you know Jake. Anyways I hadn't hung with him in a while, I couldn't get ahold of Rachel, and you know me and free drinks" Nathan said laughing.

Haley shook her head and smiled.

Nathan looked and her smirking and then we just kind of sat in silence for a couple minutes. " I like the tank top" Nathan finally said commenting on Haley's near see thru cami she had worn to bed.

"I bet you do" she said nodding but looking at the table rather then at him.

He was still smirking when he responded. "You know I haven't been with Rachel in almost 4 weeks, I'm starting to get really frustrated" he told her taking her hand and pulling her up so she was leaning against him and looking up at his face. His voice got lower with every word he spoke.

"I can imagine. There's an entire town full of horny high school girls for ya, one of which being your girfriend, go find one" Haley said. She couldn't look in his eyes. She knew the moment she looked into those icy blue eyes that were staring at her with desire, objecting would be a lost cause.

"Well what if none of them are as good as you James" Nathan whispered and began kissing her neck.

"Nathan not here... in my Dad's house, and not this weekend" she whispered trying not to moan at how good it felt.

"Come on Hales, you know you want to. And what's wrong with here, it wouldn't be a first" Nathan said between kisses his voice getting softer with each word.

"Nate" she moaned into his mouth as he kissed her and layed her back on the table, him on top of her. As his hands roamed her body and they continued to make out she felt hers+elf getting lost in the moment... in him. His mouth left hers and went back to her neck, where it slowly began to work its way south. She heard the front door open and quickly snapped back to reality. She pushed Nathan off her (he had not heard the door) and quickly sat up readjusting her shirt and whispered "they're home" as she tried to slow my breathing down. Nathan simply smirked at her rapid breathing and red face as he leaned against the wall in front of her.

"Good morning Haley. Hi Nate" her father Jimmy said as he walked into the dining room and saw us. "We were going to take you too Haley but you slept late and we didn't want to wake you" he stated in a monotone as he examined the mail not looking up.

"Hey Mr. James" Nathan said still smirking obviously entertained with the fact they had almost been walked in on.

"Haley Renee get off the table! That is where we eat! Where we entertain! That is extremely disrespectful, tell her Jimmy" Kimber (Haley's stepmom) shouted as she entered the room.

"Listen to your mother Haley" her father said still not looking up.

_-Haley's POV-_

"She's not my mother" I whispered loud enough that only Nathan heard me and he looked at me with an 'i'm sorry" expression as I stood up from the table where I had still been sitting with my feet hanging off the side.

"Hales why don't you go get ready i'm supposed to drop you off at Brooke's cause you her and Peyton are apparently going shopping today" Nathan said in a more sorrowful tone.

I nodded and walked past my father, past my pregnant step mother and up to my room. As i got dressed tears welled up in my eyes again. I could not stand them! And Nathan ugh he annoyed me so much. Why couldn't he just be with Rachel and leave me alone. Why did he have to torture me like this?

We had been best friends since diapers, then the week my brother died I was so upset that I went out and got drunk with my friends, something very out of the ordinary for me. Nathan took me home, where since noone was home he decided to stay the night. Not a first but with my current state it probably wasn't the best decision. I felt miserable. i was sad, angry, and lonely. I hurt so bad and all I wanted to feel something, anything but the pain I had been feeling for so many months... so I kissed him. His touch felt sooo good, felt so distracting. The next morning when we came to we realized what we had done. We realized that we should not have done it, we knew it was wrong... we were friends and he had a girlfriend. We knew it was wrong but we couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened. On the other side Nathan had a social standing to uphold and although nobody said it we both knew that dating Haley James the class loser would not help that, plus there was Rachel he already had a girlfriend. Who knows why Nathan thought of it but we decided not to stop. We decided to continue to have sex, just with no strings attached. We wouldn't make things weird. We'd been friends forever and it felt stupid to change that all over one drunken night. We would just be friends who every now and then got together for a few hours. We were friends... with benefits. You may once again say I'm pathetic why would I let a guy use me for sex, well I don't care what you think. Those moments spent with Nathan were the only time anything but pain, where I actually felt good. I was not going to turn that away or risk that by demanding more... who even said I wanted more?

I changed quickly, simply throwing on a pair of jeans and a tank top. As I grabbed my purse I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I hated the girl who I saw staring back at me. The girl who was not very intelligent, who was practically invisible, not pretty in the slightest, a girl who was not enough to be wanted by her parents let alone a boy. This was why I had avoided mirrors lately. I couldn't stand the sight of this person whom I hated so much, whom I wished would just fall asleep and never wake up. She taunted me.

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Author's Note: Please review and let me know what you think =D Hope you liked it, keep looking for the next chapter which will be up soon =D


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